Save Me
by phoebe9509
Summary: Emily asks Hotch to help her


It was finally the night before Emily's wedding. Everyone on the team had a part in the wedding and they were all ready to go. Emily was in JJ and Garcia's room for her bachelorette party. Hotch was in his room relaxing on his couch wondering what tomorrow was going to bring. If he was being honest with himself he didn't really want to think about it. He was starting to drift off when there was a timid knock on his hotel door. He raised his head then glanced at the clock, 2:15 am. Who the hell could that be? He thought to himself. He opened the door to see a distraught looking Emily Prentiss on the other side. He opened his mouth to ask her if she was alright when she barged past him into his room. Hotch shut the door and turned to face Emily to find her pacing around the room, looking unsure of what to say.

"Emily, are you okay?" Hotch asked her with worry in his voice.

Emily stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. Her eyes were pooling with tears and it was taking all she had not to let them fall. "I love you."

Hotch's mouth dropped open and he stared at her blankly. Did she just say what he thought she just said?

Emily started to play with her hands nervously and she started her pacing again. "I know that it's stupid to tell you and I know that I'm going to regret this." She stopped and took a step closer to him, and waited for him to say something. Anything.

"_Why_ are you telling me this Emily?" Hotch asked quietly.

"I was at my bachelorette party and I saw everyone having a good time and I remembered why we were having the party in the first place and I had to get out of there." She shook her head, and moved closer to him. "Give me a reason Hotch, please," she begged the strong man before her.

Hotch gave her a quizzical look. "I don't…I don't understand Emily. What kind of reason?"

"A reason for me to not go through with this wedding," she cried. Tears streamed down her face, "I love you so much. There are days when I can't stop thinking about you, and I know that it's wrong but I can't help it. All I'm asking is for you to say that you feel the same way I do. Or just tell me that there might be a chance for us down the line and I'll call the wedding off. I'll do whatever it takes to be with you. You just have to tell me that you want to be with me as well. Even a little bit Hotch, that's all I'm asking for."

Hotch felt his heart break as he stared back at the woman who he had come to care for dearly. Who in the end, he did actually love. His mind raced as he thought of all the things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to let her know that he felt the same way about her and he had wanted her to come to his apartment repeatedly over the years to tell him that she had left the guy or that she loved him, but now that the moment was actually here Hotch didn't know what to say. Yes, he may love her dearly, but he also knew that this other man loved her just as much. He could give her things that Hotch couldn't. He could make her happy in ways that he didn't know how to. If he couldn't keep Haley happy, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep Emily happy either.

Hotch closed the distance between them and grabbed her hand and led her to the couch that he was previously falling asleep on. "Sit down Emily," he told her and she did as he said.

Hotch reached forward and swiped his thumb across her wet cheek to get rid of the tears that stained it, and Emily leaned into his touch. "I need you to answer me truthfully okay?"

Emily locked eyes with Hotch and nodded. "Of course."

"Do you love him?" he asked quietly.

Emily opened her mouth then closed it. She tilted her head to the side. "I…what does that have to do with anything?" she stuttered.

"Do you love him?" he repeated.

A single tear slid down her cheek. "Yes, I do love him."

Hotch nodded his head and before he could say anything, Emily moved closer to him and grabbed his face. "It's true I do love him. I'm not going to deny that. But with that being said I love Morgan, Rossi, and I love Reid as well. I love you. The only difference between all of you is that I'm _in _love with _you!_"

Hotch took a deep breath and grabbed her hands and pulled them away from his face and placed them in his lap. "You said yes."

"What?" she asked him clearly confused.

"You said yes Emily. When he asked you to marry him you said yes. You came into work the next day with the biggest smile on your face. I can't let you give that up."

Emily's eyes dropped down to their entwined hands and she squeezed. "I thought he was my last chance. And I thought that if I didn't say yes to him no one else would ever confess that they loved me, and I want a family Hotch." She paused then moved closer so their thighs touched. "I may have said yes then, but I'm asking you for a reason to let me say no now."

"He makes you happy," he told her sadly.

"So what? Okay, yes he does make me happy, but Hotch I know that I can be so much more happier with you if you only let me. Please, I'm begging you Hotch, just please tell me that you feel something for me other than friendship. Tell me that I'm on your mind more than I should be. Tell me that you would love to spend the rest of your life with me. Save me from making the biggest mistake of my life Hotch. That's all I'm asking for."

Hotch just sat there staring into her eyes. "I've seen the way you look at me Hotch," she preceded to tell him, "I've seen that look in your eyes. I know I'm not alone when it comes to my feelings." Emily moved her body so she was straddling Hotch's legs. She leaned in close and whispered against his lips, "Please tell me you want me as much as I want you." After the words left her mouth she closed the gap between their lips and finally shared her first kiss with Aaron Hotchner. The kiss was gentle and unsure until Hotch kissed her back. The moment he let himself relax into her kiss he knew he was in trouble. Emily let her tongue dart across his bottom lip and she begged for entrance to his mouth. Hotch ran his hands through her silky raven hair and pulled her closer. Emily fumbled with the buttons on his shirt and Hotch pulled away, nibbling lightly on her lip before pulling away completely. He looked up at the beautiful woman who was flushed hovering over him.

"This can't happen," he mumbled.

Emily felt a fresh batch of tears coat her eyes. She leaned back, "I don't understand."

Hotch took a shaky breath then continued, "Emily, you love him, and I can't let you throw that away for me. He can give you what you need, what you want and what you deserve. I'm all fucked up Em, nothing good could come out of us being together. He's your last chance, don't give that up."

Emily climbed off of his lap and paced in front of him again, "Are you trying to tell me that kiss meant nothing to you?" she asked with anger in her voice.

"No, I'm telling you that kiss will be what I treasure for the rest of my life, and I'm so glad I got to experience it, but—"

"Then why?" she yelled loudly. "Why don't you want me then? Why are you going to choose to spend the rest of your life without me? That's torturing me and you. I want you Hotch, all of you. Your fucked up flaws and everything. They made you who you are and I wouldn't change anything because they made you the person I fell in love with." Emily let the tears fall freely as she dropped to the ground. "I want you so much," she whispered. "I love you. Why can't you love me back?"

Hotch got up from the couch and walked over to where she was sitting on the floor. He pulled her into a hug, and held her tightly. "I do love you," he said against her hair, and she looked up into his eyes. "I love you more than you could ever imagine. And I'll love you until the day that I die, but nothing between us is ever going to change. I need you to know that, and I need you to except that because you're getting married tomorrow, and you need to go into that marriage with all of your heart. So yes Emily, I love you, but that changes nothing," he told her sadly.

A loud sob left Emily's throat as she removed herself from his arms. Hotch felt his heart break at the way she stared at him. "I…we…you have the power to make us both extremely happy, but you're giving that up. You're letting me go, and I…" she trailed off, unsure of what to say. Her entire body was shaking and she was having trouble breathing.

"Emily, I never—"

"I have to go," she said quickly cutting him off. She practically ran to the door and Hotch followed her.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked as he ran his hand up and down her arm.

She moved out of his reach and opened the door. She turned and shot him a look, "I came here and asked you to give me a reason not to make the biggest mistake of my life and you didn't give me one Hotch, do you think I'm going to be okay?"

Before he could respond Emily ran out of his room and down to hers and disappeared before words even processed in his mind. Hotch shut his hotel door and slid down it onto the floor. She loved him, he thought to himself. She actually loved him. Actual tears made an appearance as he tried to process all that happened. He touched his lips and remembered the kiss, and he smiled. She wanted him and he let her walk away. He gave her up and told her to go be with another man, all because he wanted her to be happy and have the life that every woman dreams of. And he knew in his heart, no matter how much he loved her he couldn't make her as happy as the man she was going to marry tomorrow. So it was finally time to let her go.


End file.
